I spoke to my coach yesterday.
It didn't turn out as well as I wanted it to.

First of all, I promised myself I won't cry during the discussion because I didn't want to appear weak.
But I cried, no matter how hard I tried to regulate my breathing, I couldn't help the tears.

Secondly, it wasn't even a damn discussion, he was doing all the talking and when I tried to talk, he kept interrupting me and defending his stand.

Thirdly, he do not think that I deserve the right to know what are the factors leading to Carin and Aidah getting chosen over me, other than the one that I am dissatisfied with and think that it's unfair, which is attendance for the 11 days.

THEN, because I said that as a player, I think that I have the right to know what are my mistakes, what I've done wrong or right, in order for me to improve. If I do not even know what is the reason why I didn't get into the team, and you do not even give me the respect to tell me, how do you expect me to be able to accept it?
And he just said, end of discussion, and walked off.


SO, I sat there alone for a while, offended and keeping myself calm, thinking what to say to him.

I went into the court, told him, I was very offended that he just walked away like that.
He said that he said end of discussion.
I replied that there are other alternatives than just walking away yourself.
He said TOO BAD.

What kind of coach does that?
I told him, he had my respect when we were talking, although I didn't accept his reasons and explanations.
But he lost it when he walked away just like that.
Then I couldn't help but cry again, and said sorry before I walked into the toilet,
because I didn't want to be a jerk like him.

I cried my heart out in the toilet.
He broke my self- esteem,
and I am angry with myself for crying in front of him.
Ahh, what's wrong with the affinity with my tears and netball.
Stopped, and started thinking about everything again.

Then Baby came in, and I talked to her.
Thank you baby, I really appreciate that. :D
Then I became better and went out to watch them train.


I am a strong girl.
I can be a strong girl.
But I really want to stop crying so easily.


Anyways,
I was just done watching season 4 of Grey's anatomy :D
Yesterday.
I wondering about season 6.

AND I wanna watch GG season 3!

I think I'm cramping too much stuff in my personal schedule.


FITNESS FITNESS FITNESSSSSS.


Camera 3 day 1 pictures next :D