I had 3 friends who I cared about.
Both of their parents relied on me to look after them,
they came to me, they talked to me about their kids,
about how worried they are, about how stupid their kids are,
and how they wish their kids were more like me,
and how they made me promise them to take good care of their kids.

1 of them now a event model,
party animal, piercings,
retained in secondary school.
And I blame myself, because I broke the promise.
I stopped contacting her,
and after years, to meet her and find out these things.
Where was I when she needed someone to guide her,
where was I when her mother needs to tell me to look after her?

1 of them now a successful young man,
but in between, terrible things happened.
I didn't even have the face to see his mum when we went to court together.
To see her tear- stricken and worried face was to see my guilt.
I was supposed to make sure he stays out of trouble.
But because I stopped contacting him,
I stopped asking him things like 'what's up with life?',
because I stopped caring.

1 of them now lost,
I had succeeded in keeping him under control when we were friends a few years back,
and his mother was always happy to let him go wherever when he mentions my name.
His mother personally talked to me, and told me they feel lucky for him that he has me as a friend.
He was a special friend to me.
And because I stopped asking,
stopped caring,
he got into serious trouble, and almost dropped out of school.
And got his mother crying all day and all night.
All I can do when I see his mum now is to smile and say hi,
asking about him just hurts me, as much as it must hurt her.


How complacent can I be when it comes to friends?
How can I take my friends for granted?
I don't want history repeating itself,
because the friends that I have now,
they are veryvery important to me.

And before I make myself regret, I have to change things.
I have 4 best friends whose mothers know me dear.
I have disappointed 2 mothers,
because I disappointed 1 of their kids, and I had evolved to become less of a kid who they can depend on to take care of their child.

I still have 1, who relies on me so much to take care of her girl,
because she thinks that I have so much influence on her,
and I have tried, but I'm losing touch,
because I'm just a friend to her.
Talk is cheap, actions are levers, they magnify truth.

I know things, but I must do something before everything is ruined again,
and I regret it a few years later.

Salvation.